For the fans

“Well, then…” His eyes spring back up to mine, and I didn’t think it was possible, but my cheeks flush ever harder. “Looks like we found our bottom.”

“Attempting to be festive with my mother, Tom, and Kyran just sounds like something that will make me want to fa-la-la-la-light myself on fire.”

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REVIEW

Would I read this again? Yes No Maybe

Spice Level Legend How spicy is this book?

Tropes	Trigger Warnings
Enemies to lovers, step-brothers, opposites, MM romance, Forbidden love, Grumpy x sunshine	Camwork, mention of child sexual abuse, Homophobia, Religious trauma

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SUMMARY

Avi and his mom have recently moved from New York to Boston. His dad died when Avi was 6 and him and his mom are super close. One day she tells him that she has been dating some guy for the last two months and she wants him and Avi to meet. She tells him he has a son that’s Avi’s age so hopefully they get along. Avi thinks that’s a long shot since he is kind of an outcast at his school now.

Kyran, on the other hand, is the star quarterback at his high school. His mom and dad have been divorced since Ky was a teenager. Ky and his dad have a very strained relationship. Him and his mom have no relationship. He used to be close to his older sister until she moved to California for college. He is not excited at all to meet his dad’s new girlfriend or her kid.

Kyran instantly doesn’t like Avi. In his opinion, Avi is too laidback, stoner, and doesn't care about anything. Kyran works hard in football to be the best to impress colleges. He works hard at his grades. Just by looking at Avi, he’s like nope we have nothing in common. One thing that really bothers Ky - Avi smiles too much.

Six months later, their parents get engaged, and Avi and his mom move in. Avi was in a private school but switched to the same public school that Ky is in. In school, Ky makes it his mission to give Avi a hard time everytime he sees him. Avi makes his own group of friends - the artsy kids. While Ky stays in his jock circle. But they are constantly butting heads - in school and out. 

One year later, Ky decides to break up with his long term girlfriend before they head off to college. On his way to do so, he walks in on her making out with some dude named Ash Holloway. Ky is pissed but also - hey that makes it easier on him to break up with her. When Ky gets home, already pissed off that she had the audacity to cheat on him, he gets more mad that Avi parked in “his” spot. He starts yelling at him and his dad tells him not to yell at “his brother” and especially not on his birthday. At dinner, Avi tells everyone his good news - he got accepted to Boston College. The same college Ky got accepted to. Ky thought he was going to escape Avi and his annoying smiles but no. Ky storms off but before he goes upstairs, he spits on Avi’s birthday cake. Ky and Avi share a jack-n-jill bathroom. Later that night, Avi is trying to get into the bathroom from his room, but Ky has locked the door. Avi starts banging on the door, which prompts him and Ky to start arguing, and then they are punching each other and wrestling on the ground. 

One year later, they are freshmen at Boston College. They have different majors, run in different circles, and Avi does his best to avoid Ky on campus. Around Thanksgiving, they ended up at the same party. Avi avoided Ky but Ky decided to come over to Avi to start shit. Avi starts yelling at Ky, Ky threatens to kick Avi’s ass. When Ky moved his arm as if he was going to hit Avi, Avi flinched. Ky laughed and decided not to hit him. He liked that Avi was scared. 

Frankie, Avi’s best friend, tells him that the football team is looking for a new mascot next term and convinces to try out for it. Avi at first says no but then thinks about how much it would piss off Ky and decides to go for it. 

Avi is helping Frankie move at the end of the semester and asks her why she has so much filming equipment. She tells him she has been making money as a creator on OnlyFans. He is shocked to find out how much she has been making. She tells him he could do it too for some extra cash, and he’s like no thanks. Ky’s dad has a lot of money so they aren’t hurting for cash. 

Avi finds out that for the next semester, he has been put in the Walsh dorms. That’s the same building that Ky lived in this semester. He only hopes that Ky gets moved so he doesn’t have to be in the same building as him. 

Beginning of sophomore year, the first game of the season, Ky is nervous. This year he wants to win it all, they were so close last year to the NCAA championship and he doesn’t want to lose it again. His teammates are laughing about the new guy that’s in the mascot costume and it isn’t until after half-time that Baldwin (the mascot) takes its head off to get a drink that Ky sees who it is. Ky is furious. He gets distracted on a few plays but manages to get his head out of his ass and win the game. Then he confronts Avi. Did Avi apply to be the mascot just to piss off Ky? Yes. But he’s actually enjoying it and doesn’t let Ky getting all up in his face bother him. 

Right before the semester started, Avi is ecstatic to hear he has been moved from Walsh. There was a lack of space in Walsh and due to the mixup, they had to move him into the first available room which happens to be the nicest, most sought-after dorm rooms - Thomas More. And to make it even better? His roommate never showed up. Now Avi doesn’t really know his roommate, but we do - Ash Holloway. So Avi is pretty much living the life - until his mom calls and invites him and Ky home for dinner. They find out that Ky’s dad’s business went under. He lost it all. They are broke now. His dad says they can’t help pay for housing or any extra expenses this semester so they guys are going to have to figure it out on their own. Avi’s mom suggests they both move home for the semester - it’s not very far. But they both decline, thinking that sounds horrible. 

Avi is telling Frankie about his financial issues. He needs almost four grand for tuition, plus another nine grand to keep his nice dorm room. So he needs thirteen grand in like two months. Frankie tells him she knows how he can earn money - OnlyFans. She is making a killing and she knows he could make a decent amount too. 

Within a few weeks, he has some subscribers and is making a few hundred bucks. (I’m not going to lie, I knew basically nothing about OnlyFans until I read this book. Apparently, you have a page that you post teasers…I guess for a lack of a better word. And then you have subscribers - those who pay to see more.) Avi always says it's “for the fans” whenever he is making a video. He makes his first full length video and gets over a hundred new fans. Not bad for being a newbie. After a month, he almost has enough for his tuition (four grand remember? In a month…). His fans have started asking him to do a collaboration with someone else. A lot of his fans are guys, and he’s thinking maybe they don’t want it to be with a girl, but he has absolutely no idea who to collab with - boy or girl.

Meeting up with Frankie later, she asks him if he wants to do a collab. At first, he’s like dude - you’re like my best friend but I don’t want to fuck you. She’s like yeah me either, but this a JOB, and we will make bank. She says her subs want to see her do a threesome, with two guys. Avi is like okay…but I’m one. She says she just needs to find another guy that is hard up for some money and willing to do whatever to make it. 

Ky is not having a good couple of weeks. First, his dad and the money. Second, he just lost his first game of the season. Avi approaches him in the locker room after the loss when Ky is still just sitting there after everyone else has left. Avi tries to give him a little bit of a pep talk and Ky is like why the fuck are you talking to me? Avi says because this whole money thing has been a shock to both of us. He invites Ky to Frankie’s Halloween party the next night. Ky says he probably won’t go. He doesn’t like Avi or Avi’s weird friends. 

But he goes anyway. He doesn’t want to be around his own friends when he is still feeling like he personally lost the game. But as soon as he gets to Frankie’s, he regrets it. Avi is there…talking to him. He hates that.

Frankie is so excited. Ky’s hot and hard up for money.  Perfect. She takes him, and Avi, on a tour of her new apartment. Ky is secretly impressed with it, it's off campus and it can’t be cheap. He wonders how she is managing to pay for it. She leads them into her bedroom and says she wants to ask Ky a question but she needs him to keep an open mind. Avi laughs and is like this is a horrible idea. She mentions that she is an OnlyFans creator and her subs have recently wanted to see a threesome - with two guys. Ky is like no, absolutely not. When he realizes that Avi knew what she was going to ask, he is shocked that Avi would even be on board. Avi tells him it’s just a scheme for quick money. That gets Ky’s attention - quick money? How much money? He is still hesitant until Avi starts talking shit about how Ky is just nervous, boring, and is worried about what he might do or feel if he sees Avi’s dick. That pisses Ky off. He says he is going to go get shitfaced and he’ll be back.

After drinking heavily, Frankie and Avi go back to her room to wait for Ky. Avi is nervous for multiple reasons but one reason is that he is afraid that Ky might just kick his ass instead. Frankie says they have so much tension and when they are arguing, she is just waiting for them to kiss.

Ky does show up and its awkward as fuck at first. Then it kind of turns into them arguing and Frankie making it a competition. Even if you’ve read it already, and you forget, go read it again. Chapter 10. You won’t regret it.

They end up making three grand a piece for the video. Frankie shares it on her page and Avi on his and his subscriber number jumped significantly. And they’re all asking to see more of the “hot grouchy blonde”. He knows that Ky will never go for it but they both still need thousands of dollars for school. He shoots him a text and asks him to come to his dorm so they can talk about something. Ky is like absolutely no, hard pass. Avi says it's important, please just come over. But Ky leaves him on read. 

Frankie and another friend, Bea, show up. Bea found a stray kitten outside and she doesn’t want to just leave it out there, it’s cold. She convinces Avi to let it stay there. He does have the biggest dorm and no roommate. He finally agrees and names her Robin.

Later that night, he gets another knock on his door and he is shocked that Ky did come over. He tells Ky that he has a lot of people wanting to see more of them together. He fully expects Ky to punch him in the face and leave. Instead, Ky starts laughing. He thinks Avi is joking. Then he gets mad when he realizes he isn’t joking and he insists that he’s not gay, and they are step-brothers, and what in the actual fuck. Avi says it's just a business, a means to an end. Ky is leaving until Avi says this is how they get to stay in school and Ky gets to stay on the football team. Then Ky turns around and wants to talk terms. Like, sharing the money, no one finds out about it, and no touching. The last one makes Avi laugh because how is that going to work? 

Ky starts chugging Fireball and is like I gotta get drunk if we are going to do this. Avi didn’t even think he would agree and now he wants to do it right now.

Again, it starts off awkward. Doesn’t end that way….Chapter 11 for reference…

A week later, Ky has been avoiding Avi, but is pretty happy with his Venmo deposits. One video and he has half of his housing bill for the next semester. 

At least, their shared secret has made Ky a teensy bit nicer to Avi in public. He isn’t friendly by any means, but he isn’t threatening to beat his ass (as much) either. After winning a close game against Duke, Ky finds himself over at Avi’s place again. They make another video (Chapter 12) which ends up just confusing the fuck out of Ky even more. WHY does he like it? Its a guy and its his stepbrother, who he fucking hates, so WHY does he like it so much? Avi is less upset about it but just as confused. 

Two weeks later, Ky has been ignoring Avi. Which is pretty normal. They make a video, Ky gets freaked out, ghosts him, and then shows back up and rinse and repeat. Frankie convinces Avi to go to a party in the Walsh dorms. At first, Avi declines but Frankie is insistent. He avoids Ky the best he can but Ky keeps sending him death glares whenever he sees him. Avi decides he just wants to leave so he goes to tell Bea, who is flirting and trying to hook up with Theo (another football player and Ky’s friend), that he’s leaving. Bea wants to smoke some weed in the bathroom with him first so they go to that. They are interrupted by Ky coming in, all pissed off and directing his anger to Avi (naturally). He asks if they were hooking up because that would be really shitty to do to Theo (clearly, Theo…) and he tells Bea to get out of the way because he’s going to kick Avi’s ass. Avi tells her everything is fine, his angry stepbrother just needs to calm down and sends her out of the bathroom. Sexual tension sky rockets and they start making out. Afterwards, Avi says “we should fuck sometime” which has Ky’s flabbers all gasted. 

A few days later, Ky is in the library when some cheerleader keeps giving him flirty eyes. He thinks this will be a good way to prove that I’m not gay. They end up in the bathroom making out when Ky has a slight panic attack. He pushes her away and tells her it’s because he can’t do this while his relationship with his girlfriend, Lexi, is up in the air. Does Ky have a girlfriend? Well…kind of sorta no. He has a long-term hookup person but they haven’t even hooked up in months. He leaves and texts Lexi, then goes over to her place. He is trying to get it up but can’t stop thinking about Avi, so he makes an excuse and leaves there too. He goes to Avi’s and starts strangling him, yelling at him that he ruined Ky, he couldn’t even get hard with not one, but two, girls. Avi’s like well you’re hard now. Ky feels so lost, thinks his dick is broken, because why is it hard now? Then they do some, as Avi calls it, priming. And even though they’re always like “for the fans?” “yeah for the fans” they don’t even record this. They probably missed out on a whole bunch of money. 

First playoff game of the year, and Ky is in his own head. Avi, who tries to avoid talking to him, feels drawn to him while he’s on the bench. Avi gives him a little pep talk and Ky smiles at him, and laughs at something he said, for like the first time ever. Right before the end of the game, when they’re down by one point, Avi tries to pump him up again. Tells him “It’s not over until it’s over. You don’t go down without a fight.” Seems to help because Ky makes his first running TD this season. Or maybe ever. After the game, Avi is telling him good game and congratulating him, when the rest of the team comes up. They ask Avi if he is coming over to their dorm for a party and before he can answer, Ky says Nope, “maybe next time, Eagle boy!” Avi thinks he shouldn’t feel as hurt as he does. It’s not the meanest thing Ky has ever done or said to him in public but it still hurts. 

Avi is walking through the locker room, still in his bird suit, when he literally runs into Ky coming out of the showers. The rest of the team is still in the showers. They shove each other a bit and then Avi throws him against the lockers and they start making out. Avi tells Ky he’s just mad because his dick doesn’t want cheerleaders but wants to be bent over by the mascot instead. That makes Ky push Avi away for real and just in time for the rest of the team to head out of the showers.

At like 2am, Ky shows up at Avi’s door. Avi is annoyed because Ky treats him like shit in public and then shows up unannounced in the middle of the night. After winning the first playoff game of the season, Ky then loses his gay sex virginity. Afterwards, he was going to leave, but turned around, gave Avi a kiss on his jaw and was like “I’ll text you”. Avi decides to watch the recording of their “cherry popping” and he can’t believe how hot it looks. It doesn’t look like porn. It looks like two people giving into desires. It looks almost like he’s making love to Ky. Which Avi thinks will definitely freak Ky out if he watches it.  (Chapter 16 if you need to revisit).

Ky travels for the next playoff game. The mascots don’t get to go to away games but after the game (they won), Avi starts sexting Ky. They end up facetiming and having phone sex. It’s getting harder (hehe) for Ky to deny there’s something more there than just “for the fans”. Meanwhile, Avi is practically getting whiplash from the back and forth of Ky’s actions/emotions. 

Two days later, the football team is having a team dinner and has invited everyone - including mascots and cheerleaders. Avi goes and then immediately regrets it. He is just about to leave when Lexi comes up. I feel like Lexi definitely knows something is going on between Ky and Avi. She waves Kyran, Theo, and Guty (Kyrans bestie and roommate) over and then when Ky and Avi start arguing, she seems very pleased with herself. I think she is secretly a subscriber to their OnlyFans. Ky and Avi do what they do best (in public that is) and verbally jab each other back and forth. Ky says, “Just leave, loser. No one wants you here.” The whole way back to his dorm, Avi is furious. He has never done anything to Ky, except exist. Ky has always treated him like shit, except recently when they’ve been alone, and Avi is sick of it. 

But of course, Ky shows up in the middle of the night. He's there to apologize but Avi doesn’t want to hear it. He just wants to communicate the way they do it best - sex. Ky tries to apologize a couple times before and during but Avi tells him to be quiet. After, he says he is really sorry, he didn’t mean any of it. He’s just so fucking confused. Avi wants him to stay but Ky says he can’t.

This might all be strictly business, as Ky keeps saying, but he ends up down a gay sex rabbit hole on Tumblr (Tumblr .. of all things..didn’t even know it was still a thing, thought it died like MySpace), and so he spends an afternoon grooming self and prepping himself for his next encounter with Avi. Who he calls his partner… uhhh business partner he meant. He doesn’t know what to think. He has always hated Avi, but now they share this thing, that is strictly only for the fans and the money, except is it? Sometimes he forgets their filming. And even though he has always hated Avi, now he feels like that feeling is lessening and more confusing feelings are appearing. 

They head home for Christmas break. Ky does something out of character and asks Avi if he wants to hang out before they do. And they don’t even fool around shocked face. Then they share an Uber where they both pretend not to look at each other or that they want to touch each other. They each go to their own rooms to settle in but Avi makes his way into Kys. He tells Ky that some of their fans wanted to send them Christmas presents and one of them sent a cock ring. Avi says he really wants to kiss him but Ky is nervous because their parents are right downstairs. Which doesn’t stop them at all. At least they shut the door.

Kyran and his dad have a very strained relationship. Kyran has always tried to be the perfect son that he thinks his dad wants but no matter what he does, it isn’t good enough. At dinner, it kinda boils over when his dad suggests that Ky go to midnight mass with him. At this point, we don’t know what happened to Ky when he was younger but we are getting hints. He hates the Catholic church, he has a strained relationship with his dad, his mom left and never talks to him, his sister moved to California and doesn’t want to talk to their dad anymore. So when his dad suggests going to mass, Ky loses it. He storms out of the house without a jacket on. He walks around the neighborhood and when he gets back, Avi is there waiting with a jacket. 

Ky has a nightmare, gives us some more clues about his trauma, and then he gets up and goes into Avi’s room. They talk, actually talk, and share details about themselves. Then Ky kisses him - because he wants to not because there’s a camera. They don’t even think about turning a camera on when they start fucking. Ky thinks, “My damning he’s turned into sweet salvation.”

The next morning, they wake up, cuddling, in Avi’s bed. Ky thinks that it was the best night of his life and he’s a little concerned as to what those feelings mean. 

After two days at home, Avi tells Ky to make up some excuse about football so they can go back to school. Then they spend the rest of Christmas break with each other, mostly in Avi’s room. One day, Ky surprises Avi by taking him on a date. He rented a car, and they drive to a closed drive-in theater. Avi had told Ky he had never been to a drive-in so Ky took him. He pulls out his laptop where he has downloaded a bunch of movies and tells Avi to pick one. He even brought blankets and snacks. They both dance around the fact that they are basically in a relationship right now but neither one wants to mention it outloud.

They end up making out in the backseat of the car and Avi tells Ky that he wants to try being bottom. Which he finds out he also loves. Avi realizes that he is falling in love with his stepbrother. But he doesn’t want to tell Ky because he thinks Ky will freak out. Even though Ky is being very uncharacteristically affectionate. Avi asks him what he’s doing for New Years Eve, and Ky says Guty is having a party, but he wants to leave before midnight because the person he wants to kiss won’t be there. swoon

They spend a lot of time together before school starts up again. One day, they’ve just spent literally hours fucking, and they’re on the couch together. Ky tells Avi how he imagines the lines on his palms are streets. It’s like a calming mechanism. Avi is joking about how cute he is and if Ky isn’t careful he might just leave “enemy territory and into the land of friends”. Ky’s like what's after land of friends? Avi tells him it's a place no one else has been. Ky says what if I wanted to go there. Avi tells him if Ky wanted to go, if Ky was sure, there would be no way Avi could keep him out. 

Avi and Ky ordered some DoorDash and when the Dasher gets there, he recognizes Avi. Says he subscribes to his account. This makes Avi super uncomfortable. Frankie shows up and says shit might be hitting the fan a little. She says Avi’s friend Zeb has found out about Avi’s OnlyFans and he found out from another person, who also goes to the same college. Ky starts freaking out. He is like two games away from winning the NCAA championship. If everyone finds out hes’s fucking his stepbrother online for money - his football career…his life…is over.

He deletes the Twitter Avi had him make. He begs…demands? that Avi deletes his Twitter and deletes the OnlyFans account. Avi doesn’t want to delete the OF account. He says it isn’t about the money, it's about them together. People have loved watching their relationship grow and it’s all documented on OF. Ky just really wants him to get rid of it for his future. He deactivates the account. Ky says what happens now, where do we go from here? Avi’s like whatever the fuck you want Ky. And Ky, like always, chooses to leave.

Frankie stays and tries to make Avi feel better. She tells him they just had a fight and this is all new to both of them. Then they hear the door open, and in walks Ash Holloway, super late to the party but he has finally arrived. 

Ky plays one of the worst games ever because he’s too distracted but his team ends up winning and will be heading to the NCAA championship. It’s been a week since he left Avi’s dorm and he hasn’t heard from him since. He decides he’s going to quit being an asshat and go talk to him. When Ky knocks on his door, Avi isn’t the one who answers. It’s Ash. In his underwear. Kyran quickly realizes who he is and then he’s like you fucked my girlfriend senior year and now he’s in Avi’s dorm…in his underwear. Avi tells him nothing happened and tries to get Ky to go somewhere else to talk but Ky is overwhelmed and over it. He invites Avi to a party at his dorm that night.

Ash goes with Avi to the party later and Ash is like all over him. Avi looks like he doesn’t like it but doesn’t make a huge attempt to get him to stop, which is really killing Kyran. Avi tries to talk to Ky but he’s being an asshole and telling him that they aren’t anything, just brothers and friends, and that’s all they’ll ever be. Avi is like you’re being a fucking coward and goes back over to where his friends, including Ash, is sitting. Ky can’t stop watching them and when Ash kisses Avi, and Avi doesn’t make a move to stop him, Ky loses it. He grabs Ash’s arm and kinda tosses him across the room before he grabs him by the throat. He’s yelling at him to not fucking touch Avi, that he isn’t Ash’s. Multiple football players try to get Ky off of him and they finally manage to wrestle him away. Guty takes him out in the hall and is like wtf is going on. Ky is trying to wrangle his emotions but tells him that Ash stole his girlfriend in highschool and now he’s “practically molesting my fucking stepbrother”. Frankie comes out in the hallway, tells Ky that she knows whatever is going on is hard for him but it’s also hard for Avi and Ky needs to figure his shit out. Avi is also going to go stay with Frankie for a bit and get away from Ash. 

Avi found out that Ash is the one who found his OF and then showed Zeb. And now, Avi is being called into the Dean’s office. Dean Perkins has been notified of Avi’s OF. Avi tries to play it off like well can she prove it’s Avi? Can she prove it was done on campus? She says they have to suspend him while they do an investigation. While he’s suspended, he isn’t supposed to go to any school events. Including the football team banquet that is being held that night. 

At the banquet, Guty tells Ky about Avi getting suspended for his OF. Apparently, Ash, aka Kyran’s favorite person EVER, is the dean’s nephew. Avi sneaks into the banquet but he’s there for five seconds before people start noticing him. Their parents arrive and then the dean comes up and says he has to go because he’s suspended. Every student who is at that banquet starts yelling and cheering for Avi. Wanting to know who the other guy was. Avi admits to the dean it was him and it was on property, she tells him he’ll be expelled and he’s like yeah I don't care. When he gets escorted out, everyone continues cheering for him. Ky realizes that Avi was right - their fans weren’t just their to watch them fuck. They were there cheering on their relationship.

Ky texts Avi to sneak back in and meet him behind the stage. Avi had told Ky that he didn’t go to school dances, including prom, and Ky had felt guilty that he hadn’t realized that. So while they are both dressed up for this banquet, Ky wants to slow dance with him like they’re at prom swoon again

While they’re dancing, Ky apologizes and then tells Avi that he’s in love with him. Of course, Avi says it back.

The next day they have to leave for the Rose Bowl. Avi flies out separately but meets Ky at a restaurant to meet his sister, Bridget. They try to act like they are just friends and step-brothers but they fail miserably. Bridget is already giving them looks because they are acting awkward but then Avi kisses Ky. Bridget responds with, “Holy fucking shit…I knew it!”

The next day is the Rose Bowl. Avi sits with Bridget. Did Ky’s dad and Avi’s stepmom seriously not go to the Rose Bowl? That would be correct. I’m guessing money issues but wow… 

Ky’s team won the Rose Bowl! Avi and Bridget go back to the hotel to wait for him to get done with all the press and shit he’ll have to do. Avi knows something more is going on with Ky. He has seen him on the verge of multiple panic attacks, usually when someone brings up his childhood or his dad, and Avi wants to know why. Ky won’t tell him, he’s asked multiple times. Bridget doesn’t want to betray Ky’s trust but she feels like Avi should know. 

When Ky was 12, a priest in their Catholic church, raped him. His parents didn’t believe him, called him a liar, made him feel like he did something wrong, then told him he was “overreacting”. But when other kids came forward with similar stories, the church ended up letting the Priest go and settling out of court. Avi is heartbroken for 12 year old Ky and everything that he went through. After Bridget tells him this, Avi gets a bunch of text messages from Ky on the way to the hotel. Obviously, Ky has just had the best day of his life, and Avi doesn’t want to do anything to spoil it. 

When Avi arrives at the party, Ky doesn’t want to hide anything anymore. He gives him a big hug and before he can do or say anything else. Guty comes over and steals Avi, says he wants him to meet his family. But Avi already met his family during the game. Guty’s mom asked Ky if they are dating and Guty’s like OMG mom, they’re step brothers. And Ky is like actually…yeah we are. Then he kisses Avi in front of everyone.

They go back to the room to celebrate but before they can really get going, Ky gets a text from Bridget. She says she’s sorry she told Avi but she just thought he should know since Ky would never tell him. Ky gets upset because he feels like this will break him and Avi just like it broke his family. Avi tries to tell him that he didn’t do anything wrong, then or now, and that nothing he ever learns about Ky will make him love him less. After a bit of coaxing, Ky relaxes. But the next morning, Avi wakes up and Ky is gone. He isn’t answering his phone, no one has heard from him. Before they all leave for the airport, Guty tells Avi that Ky texted their coach and that Ky went home. When they land back in Boston, Guty has a text message from Ky. But Avi still has nothing. Avi calls his mom and his mom said that Ky was by the house, dropped off a bunch of his stuff, and said he was taking some time away from school, and then left. Avi goes home, tells his mom everything and then his mom tells Avi that she is leaving Ky’s dad. She said he’s just too secretive - about the business, about his divorce, about why Ky has a trust fund with over a million dollars in it - and she’s over it. 

Kyran left everything behind to try and fix his own mental health. He felt like he needed to do this on his own and he needed to do this so that Avi could have all of him, not just broken pieces. Now would it have been nice if he would have shared this with Avi? Yes. But…boys be dumb. Especially college boys. After about a week, he finally texts him and just says he’s safe and fine but he has to do this. Then shuts his phone off again.

On this little soul-searching journey, he starts therapy (which he should have started at 12 years old). A month later, he makes his way back to Boston, and invites his mom and his dad for lunch. He doesn’t go easy on them. Confronts them about what happened when he was 12, how they treated him and didn’t help at all. Called out his mom for being completely absent in his life ever since - doesn’t hear from her on holidays, birthdays, not even when he won the Rose Bowl. They both apologize, his dad especially, appears to really feel badly for how much they fucked up. Before he leaves, he tells them that he’s gay, and that he’s in love with his stepbrother. They're kinda frozen speechless, which makes Ky laugh, and then he leaves to go find Avi. 

His dad comes out, hugs him (for like the first time ever), apologizes even more, tells him he loves him and he’s proud of him. He offers to give him a ride to Avi’s. He drops him off at Frankies but Avi isn’t there. At first, they won’t tell him where he’s at but after a little love declaration, they give him the address. He’s staying with his mom in an apartment. Kyran shows up and Avi thinks he’s dreaming. Ky apologizes (he does that alot doesn’t he?) and Avi makes him promise to never leave him again. 

Three months later - Ky got drafted to the NFL as a Philadelphia Eagle. They spent some time staying with Avi’s mom but then Ky wanted to try and mend his relationship with his dad so they moved in with him for a few months. 

Six months later - It’s Ky’s birthday and Avi has planned a surprise party at their new place in Philly. The NFL obviously doesn’t want Ky making any more porn videos on OnlyFans but him and Avi started an Instagram where they share their lives, non sexual parts, with their fans and they’re still just as popular as when they were rubbing dicks.

They are so freaking cute together. This book just had me kicking my feet and giggling.